Stupid Stubborn: Living in the Land of No, Stay Free (book cover)
Our respective companies are growing. We are in constant need of people both individual contributors (ICs) and leaders. This is my outline for leadership:
Follow up - there is a reason this one is first. I believe this is one of the most important qualities of a leader. The ability to follow up until the particular job is done. There is no such thing as setting it and forgetting it. If you want something go and get it.
Expect nothing from everyone (living in the land of NO) - this one is interesting and took years to understand, but most people will NOT help, participate, lean in, be a number two, lead, give you a job, chance, opportunity - it is the job or mindset of a leader to not be hurt, disappointed or vengeful of not getting the implied ask (see: TINDTMUTIADTM ;)
Human (the MGK story) - I have found it particularly useful to more truly empathize with your fellow human (everyone has their own shit and it aint your shit). I had watched a video many years back in which Machine Gun Kelly (MGK) discusses an incident involving Diddy, whom he describes as being like a big brother to him.
In the recounted story, MGK was invited to a GQ party and decided to attend. At the party, he ran into several celebrities, including Diddy. Diddy invited MGK to leave the GQ party and go to another event. However, when MGK tried to enter the new venue, there was a long line of cars, and he were stopped by security. MGK was frustrated because he had left a party he was initially invited to, only to face difficulties entering the new one due to Diddy's new security not recognizing him.
Feeling slighted, MGK sent Diddy a series of drunk text messages expressing his frustration. The next morning, Diddy invited MGK to his house to discuss the incident. Diddy, wearing a robe, confronted MGK about the messages, stating that no one had ever spoken to him in that manner before. MGK explained his feelings, and Diddy admitted that he too makes mistakes and is only human aka was drunk as fuck.
It's Not About You (whoever gets the most amount of people to work together wins) - Feeling wronged can be challenging, but such moments reveal a potential misunderstanding of your leadership role. Your primary responsibility is to guide and help others comprehend, even if it requires multiple attempts (refer to point 1: follow up). Ultimately, success in leadership is about fostering collaboration; the leader who unites the most people effectively prevails.
Show Up (no laying on the ground) - There will be moments when you don't feel like talking, appearing on camera, or answering questions. However, you must consistently show up, regardless of your mood. It's not about personal feelings. Even the smallest shift in demeanor can disrupt the momentum of what you're creating and narrating. You of course are permitted to take a vacation - but when you are leading it’s truly difficult to fully ‘unplug.’
Documenting (write shit down) - Admittedly, this is a challenge for me. I often feel that if I've internalized something, there's no need to write it down. However, documentation is crucial. Without it, how can others clearly grasp the request or intention? Moreover, in a leadership role, documenting ensures clarity, consistency, and sets a standard for the team to follow.
There is no decision to make until there is a decision to make - do not limit your potential by saying no to opportunities with first understanding the opportunity. Do not limit your
Keep swinging - In life, you'll frequently encounter stares, jeers, criticisms, and even attacks on your character. I was inspired by a video (35:22 mark) featuring Scooter Braun, where he drew a compelling analogy. He likened life's challenges to a person attempting to hit a home run in a baseball game. Despite the failures and the surrounding negativity, the key is to persist. Ultimately, that one moment of success will eclipse all past setbacks.
If you know you're right and you’re good looking go for it - This advice is primarily for parents, but truly, anyone can benefit from it. My parents instilled a profound sense of confidence in my brothers and me. Regardless of the situation, their faces would light up every time we entered a room. My dad would often remark, 'Wow, you guys are ridiculously good-looking.' While this may sound like misplaced pride (trust me, we were reprimanded and told off for our mistakes too), it established a belief system. In the same breath, they'd always encourage us with the words - 'go for it.'
Change your mind - In our information-saturated world, it's natural to feel overwhelmed by the constant influx of headlines and data. However, it's crucial to recognize that changing our minds based on new insights or intuition is not only acceptable but often necessary. Trusting our gut instincts can guide us, even if it means occasionally being wrong.
