If I had kids?

I know I hit the jackpot 🎰, so this isn’t that kind of post. As my friends’ kids start hitting the 2+ age range, this is the post I feel like sharing.

Admittedly, I don’t think I’ll have kids (it’s just how life worked out). For my peers who do, here’s how my parents did it—and did it right.

1) Confidence

Whenever we walked into a room or put ourselves out there—whether in business, sports, arts, or even at parties—my parents always showed up. They instilled in us this unshakable belief that we belonged, no matter the setting. I could riff on this forever, but the foundation was simple: they made sure we believed in ourselves, and that carried us far.

2) Ethics

This was huge. Living honestly, living freely, and not cutting corners were values drilled into us. My dad had this simple mantra: “Don’t take the stapler.” It was his shorthand for integrity—no matter how small the temptation, don’t compromise your values. That stuck.

3) Gather

Everyone was always welcome. Hospitality was second nature in our family. It didn’t matter whose house the party was at—wherever we were, everyone was invited. It didn’t matter which side of the family or which cousin; if we were going, you were coming too.

Here’s a little side story that might translate: every December, we host a pop-up bar for four days around the holidays. This year, on Thanksgiving weekend, we were open for Black Friday, but by Sunday, we were not. Still, a neighbor showed up, thinking the bar was running. Within seconds, we pulled together light snacks, poured some drinks, and hosted an impromptu gathering. They didn’t know the bar wasn’t “open,” but that’s the thing—hospitality means making people feel welcome no matter what.

4) Strict

I’m 42 now, so I can reflect on this with perspective. During my teenage years? It felt like hell. My brothers and I were rebellious, and I’m sure we gave our parents a run for their money. No matter how far we went down a rabbit hole, we somehow always found our way back.

Here’s the thing: being strict is a fine balance. Some kids might take it too far and never return, so tread lightly. For us, that structure gave us a foundation to rebuild from, even when we tested every limit.

5) Travel

We were exposed to the world early, and it changed everything. Trips to NYC, Lake Tahoe, Yosemite, and Washington, D.C., gave us context for history and life beyond our immediate world.

By age 13, we started traveling internationally—Europe, the Caribbean, Latin America—and those experiences gave us wildly different perspectives. From playing cricket in a random village to jumping on a yacht owned by a NYC taxi magnate, or partying with the sons of a financier, every encounter expanded our understanding of how others live and think.

These moments helped us connect with people from all walks of life. Many of those random friendships still exist today, thanks to the social media connections we made along the way.

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My parents didn’t follow a manual—they just lived their values and made them clear to us. So, for my friends navigating parenting: take what works for you, adapt the rest, and good luck.